Learning to Let Go: My Weekend Away from My Toddler

Hey there, Hey She Thrives tribe,

It’s your girl Abbie here, and I’ve got a story to share with all you amazing mamas out there.

I just spent my first weekend away from my little Jackson, who’s just a smidge under 2 years old. Now, I need to preface this by saying that up until this point, the longest we’d ever been apart was around 4 hours. Needless to say, this weekend was a whole different ballgame, and boy, was it an emotional rollercoaster.

Let me keep it real with y’all. The days leading up to this separation felt like I was in the middle of a never-ending storm of tears. I mean, I cried enough to fill a bathtub, and then some.

It’s not even like I was leaving him with a stranger. He was going to stay with my husband’s parents who have successfully raised 11 kids -they know what they’re doing! Plus, there would be plenty of kids there to keep him entertained. But let me tell you, my mind was in overdrive, spiraling through the wildest worst-case scenarios.

What if he gets hurt? What if he can’t sleep without me? What if he thinks we abandoned him? And then, there it was—the ultimate gut-punch: What if something awful happens, and I never get to see my baby boy again? I know, it might sound a tad melodramatic now, but at the time, these fears were as real as real can be.

So what helped? Jesus. Always Jesus.

I cried and told Jesus everything I was scared about, and after crying some more, I finally said, “I’m laying this fear at your feet, Jesus. Please help me to leave it there.”

Now, don’t get me wrong; there was still a bit of anxiety leading up to our separation. But along with that anxiety, there was something else—a newfound peace that I hadn’t felt before. I realized, without a shadow of a doubt, that Jesus loves my baby boy even more than I do (and let me tell you, I love that kid a whole lot).

By releasing my fears, I was able to fully embrace this time alone with my husband. We reconnected, rediscovered what it was like to just “hang out” without work deadlines or nap times looming over us. It brought us closer to Jesus, nourished our souls, strengthened our relationship, and you know what? It was good for Jackson too.

This time away from Jackson made me realize just how much I love the “stories” he whisper yells to me with wide, animated eyes. And upon returning, it helped me to see that my baby boy is growing much faster than I realized.

It’s bittersweet, you know? Watching our babies grow. Of course, I love to watch Jackson learn and develop, but at the same time, it brings to light that my baby will not be a baby forever. Yes, bittersweet.

In case you’re wondering how Jackson did, he did AMAZING! He had the time of his life with his grandparents, aunts, and uncles. He played his little heart out, ate tons of animal crackers, and hardly batted an eye when we came to pick him up -another moment that was also bittersweet. I was glad that he loved his time there, but can’t you act like you missed me a little you little psycho?

So there you have it, my adventure into the world of separation anxiety and rediscovery. It was a weekend full of emotions, lessons, and ultimately, a lot of love. And as I embrace these moments and continue to watch my baby boy grow, I’ll always remember that letting go, even just for a little while, can be a beautiful thing.

Till next time, Abbie at Hey She Thrives